TJ Hirst

In the middle of my perennial garden bed, I sat between the weeds and the flowers, not knowing the difference. Sometimes perennials or wildflowers that aren’t in bloom can look a lot like weeds. I was a young mom and a young gardener inheriting a garden from previous owners.

Meanwhile, my neighbor across the street cleared and prepared her beds for an herb and vegetable garden. I craved turning over my own soil to plant new seeds or plants. I ripped at the plants that looked like weeds to me. Yet, as I proceeded, I felt a quiet urge to wait patiently and watch the garden, to not even pull the weeds. My nurturing instinct was louder than my impulsiveness, and I backed off the garden bed.

In that everyday gardening experience I became not only a more patient gardener but a more patient mother, working slowly and carefully in both realms.

My everyday realms are ordinary, but they are a microcosm to larger realms. Considering and connecting, comparing and contrasting everyday experiences to each other and to the larger world reveals truth. The grass is always greener somewhere else until light illuminates our own.

This is the 100^th post at tjhirst.com. In celebration, I reveal a new look and a new tagline, Illuminate Everyday. My husband, Paul, created this original web design to reflect my writing goals.

To illuminate is to provide or brighten with light, to make understandable, clarify, to enlighten. I am still seeking and finding what inspires, but the process to seek and find creative, intellectual or spiritual inspiration is not an anxious perusal of all the available resources the world over.

Inspiration comes when I illuminate the everyday people, circumstances and situations in my own realm and consider the truths that exist right around me. My writing is a creative process that “elevates the everyday rather than denigrates it,” as my husband says. My goal on this website is to share that process and what I discover.

Try-It With-Me Tuesday, an interactive weekly time and place to foster connections that challenge and encourage the process to become a well-rounded person.

Kh was practicing the piano. She stopped playing, came into the kitchen and told me, “I love the days when your cheeks are really soft. Like today your cheeks are really soft. When I kiss you, I want to keep doing it.”

My daughter expressed this affection on a day of disappointments for me.

I planned to encourage someone this week by giving genuine praise or positive feedback. But my own circumstances trapped my mind into thinking only about myself. Her words supported me.

Later that day, Paul and I had planned a date to a bluegrass concert. But I just wanted to sit at home with my sorrows—feed on them might be a better way to say it.

Paul said, “I think it would be good for us to get out.”

His prodding and sense of humor made it good for me. And the music and energy of Monroe Crossing, a Minnesota-based bluegrass band, brightened our night.

Motivated to keep my challenge, I passed confidence along with positive words to an empty-nest mom eager to show off her family photos.

Did you Try It With Me? What encouraging words did you give or receive recently and what was the impact? Share your story in a comment below.

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I am still Trying to Memorize something inspiring for the April Reading Challenge by next Tuesday, April 29. I just had several surprises added to my “to do” list, so it will be a stretch for me.

Are you trying to memorize something? If you are, visit next Tuesday and tell me what happened when you tried it with me.

If you haven’t started, yet, there is still time. Pick a short, inspirational quote, saying, scripture or poem that you have read that inspires you. Then memorize it!

Do you have a website of your own? If you do, you can Try It With Me and write your own post about it. I will publish your link next Tuesday. Just link to my site in that post and send me your link.

Our family takes a Finnish Sauna every Monday night, boys and girls separate of course. We work in our yard together on Saturday mornings. We eat pulla bread for breakfast every Sunday morning (see recipe here tomorrow). Family prayers always take place on our colorful, round rug from Garnet Hill. We ask and answer The Question at the dinner table. After Sunday dinners, we take a walk together—the same route every time.

Creating ritual in the early years of the United States was as important as creating rules of law:

Ritual—defined as “a public ceremonial affirmation of community”— satisfies a deep collective human need . . . The only ritual built into the American system is the presidential inauguration, as decreed by the Constitution. Through its First Lady (Dolley Madison) the United States took its first tentative steps toward constructing national rituals, and embraced a national identity.

Catherine Allgor
A Perfect Union:
Dolly Madison
and the Creation of the American Nation

I have discovered I am the “First Lady” of my family to set routines, rituals and traditions that create a family identity. I don’t mean the traditions related to holidays (which seem to be initiated more by marketers than mothers). I mean those regular actions we do together in the course of ordinary family life that make us unique and bind us together.

What are your family rituals, routines or traditions? How important are they in creating your family circle?

Normally, I post polls on Fridays, but this “poll” topic is more conducive to comments, so please leave a comment below with your answers to these questions.

Try-It With-Me Tuesday, an interactive weekly time and place to foster connections that challenge and encourage the process to become a well-rounded person.

Thus far, I have mostly posted challenges that stretch me and those who try it with me. But an equally important part of my goal in writing for Try-It-With-Me Tuesday is to give and receive encouragement. Yes, I need encouragement to overcome discouragement—especially now as I jealously await (from my snow-covered locale) the spring-time weather that has arrived in other parts of the country.

To encourage is to inspire with hope, courage, or confidence and to give support. Personally, I need courage and inspiration to continue in a worthy purpose, whether it be writing on this website, being a good wife and mother, or serving God by nurturing my own spirituality and serving others. We all need encouragement in our process to become the person we want to be. For that reason, here is my challenge for the week:

Encourage someone this week by giving genuine praise or positive feedback.

Interestingly, this challenge comes from the reflective thoughts I have had since writing Commonality in a Community of Mothers. Many women across all religions share a common desire to use our time wisely to accomplish meaningful and inspired purposes, including being good mothers. Sarah at Genesis Moments considers this question as it relates to earning an income but concludes with the inspiration she gains from women who encourage her:

Most importantly, I am learning through these humble spiritual giants to pray above all things, on all things, about all things, under and through all things and that God is faithful if we believe in Him. He knows our comings and goings and will see us through.

I loved reading her thoughts and followed her link to Musings of a Housewife, where I read some more:

I often wonder what I’m doing with the blog. Is it a waste of time that I should be spending on more holy pursuits, or is it an opportunity for me to put my gifts to use by bringing women together and bringing new products to moms? Is it simply a place to socialize and ramble, or does it serve a greater purpose? Do I share too much, or should I share more? Am I really being myself? I evaluate these questions often.

Another forum posed a similar question To Blog or Not to Blog? in response to this excellent talk given by an LDS leader on womanhood and motherhood.

I took from that talk this important message:

There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. . .What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else.

Elder M. Russell Ballard
Daughters of God

As I consider all of these words from varied religious perspectives, I know that I can be tough on myself or overly sensitive to the reaction of others in regards to my own priorities and purpose. Knowing, however, that this is not a struggle that I alone face, I am inspired to trust in the personal messages of encouragement that I receive from my own prayers and to look for opportunities to give encouraging words to others.

Do you want to Try It With Me? Share your thoughts next Tuesday, April 22, at Finding What Inspires on this week’s challenge. I am also spending some time trying to memorize something inspiring for the April Reading Challenge.

Join in by trying the challenges with me, commenting, linking, or suggesting a challenge. If you want to write a post on your blog about what happened when you took the challenge, I will publish your link. Just link to my website in your post and send me your link.

Try-It With-Me Tuesday, an interactive weekly time and place to foster connections that challenge and encourage the process to become a well-rounded person.

The April Reading Challenge is to memorize something you have read that inspires you.

The students I teach in an early morning religion class are encouraged to memorize 25 scriptures from the Old Testament of the Bible this school year. One student has expressed that memorization helps her recall what she has learned and answer questions about her religion.

I am no longer a student with a need to recall for tests, but like this student, I have discovered there is still value in memorizing even after leaving formal school. In fact, it wasn’t until I discovered the value beyond recall for tests that I was enthused and motivated to memorize. Memorization develops my mental concentration in all tasks and is a tool to control my thoughts. In addition, when I memorize something that has inspired or enlightened me and then bring it back to my mind, I retain the emotions and knowledge I initially felt and also gain new understanding from it.

What important benefits have you gained from memorization?

Even though my goals (and yours) to memorize are valuable, for me to actually memorize this document will require diligent, almost vigilant, daily attention. A deadline (April 29th) helps. Being accountable to another person (anyone who reads this) also helps.

Here’s what else I am doing and plan to do to help me memorize:

I write each paragraph out on a note card.

I study the first card until I can say it without the card.

It takes me at least a day or two, sometimes even a week, to learn each card.

When I know the first card, I move on to the second card and study it.

I actually study my cards while I exercise or wait.

I try to say both cards together before I move on to the third card.

When I think I know each card, then I study the document as a whole.

I try to recall each paragraph, one at a time, until I can say it all together.

Then I rehearse it in front of the mirror, and finally say it to my family.

This is not a proven method, just what works for me.

How do you memorize?

Your tips and these tips for How to Memorize will be a help to me and those who want to try to memorize something with me this month. Good Thinking to You!

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Note: I did not post my review of the biography from the March Reading Challenge on Saturday as I promised. (I am sure no one was anticipating it). But my change of plans is an interesting insight. I was reading the biography on Dolley Madison with my mom, who lives in another state. She is listening to it on audio tape as she drives home from work. I finished reading the book last week. When we had a brief conversation about it, I was reminded of my desire to try it with her and connect through our discussions. I am going to wait to post my review until she has finished and we have had more over-the-phone book discussions. Those connections are as important to the process as the end result.

Join in by trying the challenges with me, commenting, linking, or suggesting a challenge. If you want to write a post on your blog about what happened when you took the challenge, I will publish your link. Just link to my website in your post and send me your link.