TJ Hirst

The new homes in our cul-de-sac and the surrounding streets house a large handful of 8-12 year-olds, all transplanted from other neighborhoods. Each has his or her own notions about competition, fairness and friendship. The first few summers felt like a soap opera of silly fights and resulting alliances that divided the kids into two groups.

All were basically good kids but one boy used his influence with some of the younger ones to create schemes to torment my children and their friends. Beyond just name calling, one day his young but tough sister led two others to ring our doorbell more than 30 times in a row during dinner. When we finally caught them, I brought my cordless phone with me and insisted that the instigators call their mothers from my front porch.

My son stewed over trying to make things right. “What can I do?”

“Be a leader and include them,” we said. But to be honest, we didn’t really know what would work.

This summer, in an unrelated strategy, we set aside busy scheduled activities and challenged our children to creatively fill their own unstructured time. Within weeks, my two youngest began building a fort on our property line with a neighbor—the leader of the other group!

Now, they spend hours every day planning, hauling and building. Right now, while I type, neighbor kids—from both sides—hammer and dig alongside the two leaders, my son and the former bully.

They’ve disagreed, of course. Last week this boy came over and told my son, “I’m quitting the fort.”

“Are you worried?” We asked him.

“No, he’ll be back.”

And he was.

They took us on a tour. Their former fort floor was scattered in discarded remnants on the ground. We asked about them. They explained they’d had to tear it up a summer’s worth of work and rework the design. Clearly, they cooperated. The power is in the process, not necessarily the end result.

Have you ever been to a county fair? August always opens in our Minnesota community with the county fair. But I’ve never been. My whole family has, but I’ve resisted. Until this weekend when I stopped being such a snob and we descended on the place where. . .

A person can still showcase
blue ribbon livestock, canning and baking, crafts, vegetables, flowers and art.

And eat deep fried food—fried cheesecake, monster ears and
cheese curds—that repulse us anywhere else.
(Surprisingly, for this up north town, the nachos were the best we’ve ever had.)

And put children on live ponies that circle around like a carousel
and even get all the authentic smells that go with it.

And watch it come to an end on a
dazzling-for-child yet fearful-for-mom ride at $3.00 a ticket.

My teenager daughter, EH, answers The Question: Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us today?

I was coming home from work at our local arboretum recently on my bike and soon came to a busy crossing. I was tired and hated trying to get up my momentum after stopping to let cars go by.

In front of me a girl, about 10- or 11-years-old, and her younger brother, about 6-years-old, were doing something with their bikes near the street. It seemed that she was showing her brother how to cross a busy street on a bike.

I stopped and waited for a lull in the traffic, like normal, even though I knew of the challenge to gain back that momentum. The street was busier than normal, and I had to wait a little while, but I saw and heard something that amazed me.

The girl pointed to me and said, “Watch. See, she stops.”

I was amazed that such a simple act as doing something that is natural to me can be used to teach others.

Try-It With-Me Tuesday, an interactive weekly time and place to foster connections that challenge and encourage the process to become a well-rounded person.

I Need A Nap! That’s the feeling I had when I sat down multiple times to write about my challenge this week to observe the people who intersect my life, be aware of them and consider their influence.

To be very honest, all that observing, considering and interacting with people outside my circle of friends, families and acquaintances plus continuing to observe, consider, interact and care for those within my own circle burst my emotional limits.

I discovered that there is a reason we have limited circles—we need social and emotional limits. For one who is naturally empathetic, which I am, this was the wrong challenge. I didn’t need to add an additional load of concern to my plate for those whose lives are not already intertwined with mine.

So there it is. And now I will nap.

What about you? Do you need a challenge to look outside yourself or do you do that already?

Join in by trying the challenges with me, commenting, linking, or suggesting a challenge. If you want to write a post on your blog about what happened when you took the challenge, I will publish your link. Just link to my website in your post and send me your link. Feel free to use the TIWMT image in your post.

Try-It With-Me Tuesday, an interactive weekly time and place to foster connections that challenge and encourage the process to become a well-rounded person.

I am reading The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom for the July Reading Challenge. The main character, Eddie, learns from the first person he meets in heaven, the Blue Man, that all the people he will meet in heaven will teach him “that there are no random acts. That we are all connected. That you can no more separate one life from another than you can separate a breeze from a wind. . . The human spirit knows deep down that all lives intersect.”

His words fill me with curiosity about the people outside my circle of friends, families and associates with whom my life might intersect—clerks in stores I frequent, the regulars who exercise at the same time as I do, the parents of students in my children’s grade at school who attend the same concerts and school functions. Sometimes these strangers’ faces seem even more familiar to me than relatives who live across the country.

The Blue Man tells Eddie that “the only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone.” I do feel less alone when I think not only about the people who intersect my life but how those intersections impact me. Even more, my vision becomes less self-centered. So, this week I will . . .

Observe the people who intersect my life, be aware of them and consider their influence.

Do you want to try it with me?

Join in by trying the challenges with me, commenting, linking, or suggesting a challenge. If you want to write a post on your blog about what happened when you took the challenge, I will publish your link. Just link to my website in your post and send me your link. Feel free to use the TIWMT image in your post.