TJ Hirst

Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us or our family today?

The economic downturn we face in the United States may or may nor be termed a recession, but the financial pressure many families feel at this time is real. Our family relies on the construction industry for our livelihood, and we began to feel that pressure on our finances in the closing months of 2007.

The prospects felt bleak when we did not have a clear vision of what the future might bring for my husband’s small business. Right away, we turned to our faith as a means to gain some perspective and seek help. We did not just pray and expect God to do the rest. We did all that we could do. While I cannot say that we have enjoyed the experience, the situation has been an opportunity for us to learn and grow in several ways.

• Improved Communication in Marriage

We knew we would need to consider our short term cash flow and needs, as well as our longer term plans. Like most couples, we have never discussed finances very well. “The American Bar Association has indicated that 89 percent of all divorces can be traced to quarrels and accusations over money. Others have estimated that 75 percent of all divorces result from clashes over finances.” (see One for the Money, Guide to Family Finances) I wouldn’t say that we clash over finances, but communication is tense when we need to create a new budget or when we have unexpected financial obligations. But over the past six months we have created a new computerized budget, brought our banking up-to-date and learned to discuss and agree upon financial priorities as a couple.

The blessing: Confronting and resolving our most difficult communication issue has led us to communicate better in all aspects of our marriage.

• Differentiating Between Wants Versus Needs

We also have had the opportunity to counsel with our children about the financial and time commitments of our activities. Our 8-year-old daughter led us in charting each activity under one of three columns: good, better or best. We discovered that although some things we were doing were good, we needed to use our resources for those things that were better and the best. We also had to use the same mental chart with all of our discretionary expenditures like food, entertainment, clothing, and gifts to determine our most important needs and prioritize our wants.

The blessing: We spend our time and money on what we really value, and we are more conscious and appreciative of what we already have.

• Planning For the Future

While I would really love to be planning a vacation get-away when the economic picture improves, this experience has reminded us of the importance of paying off debt (including our mortgage) and saving for the future. That is probably one of the most difficult adjustments to make—changing habits to focus on the long term financial picture rather than the short term one.

The blessing: Our perspective of the financial goals we want to attain in the years to come has become more clearly defined in our minds.

Optimism is replacing pessimism in my life and not just because business has increased this spring. Ultimately, my hope comes from something deeper than money. The most important blessing of this downturn has been to remember that “In God We Trust,” is more than a symbolic statement on paper.

Am I wrong in my perception that most people want less weighty content to read?

This is the question I posed to another writer this week, and we had an interesting discussion about substance vs. fluff. Another writer this week also lamented, “Does anyone write literature anymore?”

I don’t believe this discussion relates only to writing but to all communication. I share a current example from our home.

On Monday nights we have what our family and other members of the LDS church call Family Home Evening. It is a very flexible way of reserving and spending time together as a family. This is what our Monday nights look like: We eat dinner together, have a gospel-centered time to study and discuss the doctrine and principles of the scriptures, enjoy dessert, take a Finnish sauna (girls first, then boys), and then Paul and I watch recorded episodes of The Office.

Well, this week, I was leading the discussion about preparing ourselves to teach the gospel of Jesus Christ. Half way through, I felt like I was just talking to myself. I asked questions with little response. Then I saw why no one was engaged—three of the five family members (my husband included) were drawing cartoon characters on the paper I had given them.

I will admit up front that I am a serious substance seeker. It is in my nature. People have tried to change me, to make me less serious and more spontaneous. And in fairness to my husband distracting our children from what I am saying, he is one who hasn’t tried to change me and who has helped me achieve a nice balance. (If I am watching The Office, I must be a little fun).

But I still want the communication I give and receive to be purposeful, and most often my purpose is to seek truth or understanding. My writing, especially on this website, is going to reflect that innate desire in me.

But I don’t want to just be talking to myself when I talk or write. I invite your thoughts on this subject in the poll question below. It could be entitled, Your opinion on Finding What Inspires, Part 2. Did you take Part 1? If not, go here, I would love to have your feedback.

And, just a reminder, my polls are anonymous.

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If I were a writer in a Levenger world, my dictionary would be shelved amongst a great library of literature. Or if I were a mother in a life-is-a-learning-laboratory world, my children would glide over to a dictionary stand obligingly to “look it up” with my encouragement.

While I may aspire to those ideal settings to nurture the thought process, I live in neither.

My reality is better.

Sparks of conversation, ideas, or inspiration hit me with a force that says “I’m it.” In this whirling beginning of the creative process, I turn the crumpled pages of my American Heritage sprawled between my children’s computer and mine.

In my dictionary I rediscover the meaning of common words. Words like . . .

comment: n. a statement of fact or opinion especially a remark that expresses personal reaction or attitude.

conversation: n. an informal exchange of thoughts, opinions and feelings.

communicate: v. to reveal clearly; to have an interchange, as of ideas; to be connected.

Alas, in this state of heightened sensitivity and receptivity (and considerable commotion), words connect places in my mind and converge to create new understanding.