TJ Hirst

Learning to listen is not just a lesson I teach my children, it is a lesson I continue to learn myself, especially that I may receive divine communication.

For behold, thus saith the Lord God: I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little; and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts, and lend an ear unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom; for unto him that receiveth I will give more; and from them that shall say, We have enough, from them shall be taken away even that which they have.

The Book of Mormon - 2 Nephi 28:30

When my friend recently talked to me about taking away all the distractions and barriers so that she can have the Holy Spirit guide her, I could relate to that feeling. Often I feel a tight ball of stress swelling right in my chest. I know it is keeping me from more. More faith. More knowledge. More love. I know when I feel it, but sometimes it is hard to let go. But when I am willing, my heart opens, and I receive.

Try-It With-Me Tuesday, an interactive weekly time and place to foster connections that challenge and encourage the process to become a well-rounded person.

When I committed to the May Reading Challenge to read to or with someone, I wanted an unexpected opportunity to present itself. I waited. I trusted that such an opportunity would come and I would see it. I waited. I wondered. I made an alternate plan to pursue something else. But close to my deadline, it happened!

First, some background. Last year I read the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer. When my daughter turned 14, I encouraged her to expand her reading genres and try these. Yet, I knew they were a little more mature and wanted to talk about some of the scenes and themes with her.

After she finished Twilight in two days, she started New Moon. She admitted they were better than she expected. Although I wanted her to slow down and let us talk about them, she is quick and not a big talker. Me—I’m a BIG talker; yet, she was plowing through them and wasn’t pausing for communication.

Until . . .

Sickness sidelined her unexpectedly on a school day, and I saw the opportunity. I rearranged my plans for the day. We settled into the couches where I read a chapter of New Moon to her. While she was a bit frustrated by the slower pace of listening, it did open her up to discuss the series. We engaged in some interesting conversation. And that was my goal!

Even as she returned to her book alone, I picked up my book, Watership Down, and we read for a couple of hours on the couch together. Interestingly, that opportunity opened my thinking about a plan to extend this challenge throughout the summer.

I thought my days of reading aloud with my children were over. They are becoming increasingly more independent and mature. But this summer may just be our window of opportunity to try one more read-aloud book together. And after finishing Watership Down, that might just be the right one. Or do you have some suggestions for a read-aloud with ages ranging from 9-14?

Did you read to or with someone this month? What benefits do you see from reading together? Tell me about it in the comments below or send me a link to your own post about it.

Join in by trying the challenges with me, commenting, linking, or suggesting a challenge. If you want to write a post on your blog about what happened when you took the challenge, I will publish your link. Just link to my website in your post and send me your link. Feel free to use the TIWMT image in your post.

Our family experienced spontaneous education and inspiration in our home when Netflix unexpectedly restarted our subscription and delivered Amazing Grace. What surprised me even more than its appearance was the announcement from my husband that our children (ages 14, 11, 9) could watch it with us. I expected that this movie about a decades-long political fight in the British Parliament to end the slave trade would be too mature for them, even though it was rated PG. However, after considering its educational value, we all watched it together that very night, even with school the next day.

Amazing Grace Trailer

On the website for the movie, Amazing Grace, you can share your story of how Amazing Grace impacted you. The movie’s impact on us can be summed up in three words: Questions, Compassion, Inspiration.

An important part of viewing media together as a family is the questions that come to mind and the discussions that follow. The main character, William Willberforce, is full of questions himself about the slave trade. He was taught as a boy in school by John Newton, who wrote the hymn, Amazing Grace. Newton had been the captain of a slave ship for years, and he witnessed and participated in horrific acts against the African slaves they were transporting for sale. Newton found God, repented, and became a minister. That inspiring song was like a testimony of his conversion.

As a man, the hymn and education motivated Willberforce’s personal stand against slavery, and he was encouraged by another friend, William Pitt, to make that a political fight, as well. The question for Willberforce is how can he best do God’s work. To persuade his friend, Pitt introduces him to a group of abolishionists, one of which is a former slave.

I could see questions in my children’s eyes as this man, Olaudah Equiano, describes the atrocities that took place on the slave ships. When he told his own story as a slave, he showed the branded mark he bore on his chest and explained its purpose, “To let you know you no longer belong to God but to a man.”

Personally, his words left me with my biggest question: Have I seen slavery just as a historical issue? Or is the resulting pain of slavery so deep that its history continues to unknowingly mark nations and individuals?

Compassion followed the questions and registered on all our faces. In the inspirational moments when Pitt said, “Surely, the principles of Christianity are needed for action as well as meditation,” I was glad that that our children were beginning an education about racial relationships at home.

Just as music stirs my emotions and motivates me to good works, Amazing Grace inspired our family. As Newton expressed, “I once was blind, but now I see” in the lyrics of his song, I considered what cultural or spiritual blindness I might overcome myself so that I might not pass my ignorance along to my children. Passing along this story of faith and perseverance to them certainly inspires our desire and our wills to learn our individual mission and use our resources and talents to pursue worthwhile societal change.

Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us or our family today?

The economic downturn we face in the United States may or may nor be termed a recession, but the financial pressure many families feel at this time is real. Our family relies on the construction industry for our livelihood, and we began to feel that pressure on our finances in the closing months of 2007.

The prospects felt bleak when we did not have a clear vision of what the future might bring for my husband’s small business. Right away, we turned to our faith as a means to gain some perspective and seek help. We did not just pray and expect God to do the rest. We did all that we could do. While I cannot say that we have enjoyed the experience, the situation has been an opportunity for us to learn and grow in several ways.

• Improved Communication in Marriage

We knew we would need to consider our short term cash flow and needs, as well as our longer term plans. Like most couples, we have never discussed finances very well. “The American Bar Association has indicated that 89 percent of all divorces can be traced to quarrels and accusations over money. Others have estimated that 75 percent of all divorces result from clashes over finances.” (see One for the Money, Guide to Family Finances) I wouldn’t say that we clash over finances, but communication is tense when we need to create a new budget or when we have unexpected financial obligations. But over the past six months we have created a new computerized budget, brought our banking up-to-date and learned to discuss and agree upon financial priorities as a couple.

The blessing: Confronting and resolving our most difficult communication issue has led us to communicate better in all aspects of our marriage.

• Differentiating Between Wants Versus Needs

We also have had the opportunity to counsel with our children about the financial and time commitments of our activities. Our 8-year-old daughter led us in charting each activity under one of three columns: good, better or best. We discovered that although some things we were doing were good, we needed to use our resources for those things that were better and the best. We also had to use the same mental chart with all of our discretionary expenditures like food, entertainment, clothing, and gifts to determine our most important needs and prioritize our wants.

The blessing: We spend our time and money on what we really value, and we are more conscious and appreciative of what we already have.

• Planning For the Future

While I would really love to be planning a vacation get-away when the economic picture improves, this experience has reminded us of the importance of paying off debt (including our mortgage) and saving for the future. That is probably one of the most difficult adjustments to make—changing habits to focus on the long term financial picture rather than the short term one.

The blessing: Our perspective of the financial goals we want to attain in the years to come has become more clearly defined in our minds.

Optimism is replacing pessimism in my life and not just because business has increased this spring. Ultimately, my hope comes from something deeper than money. The most important blessing of this downturn has been to remember that “In God We Trust,” is more than a symbolic statement on paper.

Am I wrong in my perception that most people want less weighty content to read?

This is the question I posed to another writer this week, and we had an interesting discussion about substance vs. fluff. Another writer this week also lamented, “Does anyone write literature anymore?”

I don’t believe this discussion relates only to writing but to all communication. I share a current example from our home.

On Monday nights we have what our family and other members of the LDS church call Family Home Evening. It is a very flexible way of reserving and spending time together as a family. This is what our Monday nights look like: We eat dinner together, have a gospel-centered time to study and discuss the doctrine and principles of the scriptures, enjoy dessert, take a Finnish sauna (girls first, then boys), and then Paul and I watch recorded episodes of The Office.

Well, this week, I was leading the discussion about preparing ourselves to teach the gospel of Jesus Christ. Half way through, I felt like I was just talking to myself. I asked questions with little response. Then I saw why no one was engaged—three of the five family members (my husband included) were drawing cartoon characters on the paper I had given them.

I will admit up front that I am a serious substance seeker. It is in my nature. People have tried to change me, to make me less serious and more spontaneous. And in fairness to my husband distracting our children from what I am saying, he is one who hasn’t tried to change me and who has helped me achieve a nice balance. (If I am watching The Office, I must be a little fun).

But I still want the communication I give and receive to be purposeful, and most often my purpose is to seek truth or understanding. My writing, especially on this website, is going to reflect that innate desire in me.

But I don’t want to just be talking to myself when I talk or write. I invite your thoughts on this subject in the poll question below. It could be entitled, Your opinion on Finding What Inspires, Part 2. Did you take Part 1? If not, go here, I would love to have your feedback.

And, just a reminder, my polls are anonymous.

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