Archive for the 'The Question' Category

Jul 17 2008

Always An Example

by eh

My teenager daughter, EH, answers The Question: Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us today?

I was coming home from work at our local arboretum recently on my bike and soon came to a busy crossing. I was tired and hated trying to get up my momentum after stopping to let cars go by.

In front of me a girl, about 10- or 11-years-old, and her younger brother, about 6-years-old, were doing something with their bikes near the street. It seemed that she was showing her brother how to cross a busy street on a bike.

I stopped and waited for a lull in the traffic, like normal, even though I knew of the challenge to gain back that momentum. The street was busier than normal, and I had to wait a little while, but I saw and heard something that amazed me.

The girl pointed to me and said, “Watch. See, she stops.”

I was amazed that such a simple act as doing something that is natural to me can be used to teach others.

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Jul 10 2008

Growing on the Slopes of Life

by TJ

My Daily Question: Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us today?

Building or remodeling a home brings daily questions to the forefront of a family that require continual problem solving and decision making. I’m following Michelle’s story at Scribbit of their family’s major remodel with interest, including her latest experience in choosing and applying paint.

My husband is an architect and building a home together was always our dream. When we proceeded toward this goal four years ago, the reality looked a little more like a nightmare. I never realized the challenges involved.

Despite the imperfections in the process, we now have a beautiful home. Summer sun highlights one of my favorite parts—the garden and natural landscape that surround it. We even grow grass and vegetables in a garden on our roof, which is a whole series of posts in itself.

The negative side of that story or the positive photographs of the end result may present a false impression of life on opposite extremes—one filled with problems or the other as picture perfect. Right in the middle of these extremes is a rather ordinary but hideous hillside connecting our front yard to our back.

During home construction this hillside was a sandy slope that eroded away with the constant foot traffic and dropped off in an even steeper pitch down the side. When we landscaped our yard three years ago, I wanted to terrace it and Paul wanted sod. We chose sod in the end so the hillside could become a pathway for the lawn mower to the back lawn.

Still, the slope is steep, sandy and exposed to an unshaded southern exposure. The grass didn’t survive the faulty sprinkler spray, the poor soil or the harsh sun and is once again eroding. I could blame and insist that I was right. I could say, “We should have terraced it.” But I knew that wasn’t the right solution either.

Life’s problems never seem to cease, but trying hard to deal with the problems somehow makes you dig deep enough that you learn things you’d never understand without the digging. A happy life isn’t about getting what you want; it’s about the attitude you develop toward whatever happens to you, an attitude that lets you grow . . . There is something mellow and enriching about living this way as husband and wife; trying to discover what’s behind life’s problems, together, as a team.

Bruce C. Hafen, Covenant Hearts

My feelings and opinions were subdued enough to listen to Paul’s proposals to put down paving stones and his reasons behind it. In the course of proceeding on that plan, he replaced a part in the sprinkler and adjusted the spray. The slope received water from a new source for the first time ever and the grass began to grow again. On the day we scheduled to perform the work, we determined that we might resolve the problem if we reseeded and nurtured the lawn with consistent care.

With a new outlook on solving problems in marriage, we dug into that hillside together. It became our problem and our blessing.

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Jul 03 2008

Wonder-filled Expectations

by TJ

My Daily Question: Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us today?

Carefree and curious, my daughter peeks out from behind the fabric of the hammock. I capture the moment of calm with my camera and wonder at the possibilities ahead of her.

On another day, my children watch The Incredibles in the backseat of the car. I listen to the blaring action of the movie and the stop-and-go-traffic and wonder why I can’t stop shoving Twizzler Cherry Nibs into my mouth.

The contrasting scenes leave me to wonder—the first with hope, the second with dismay.

Does every mother glimpse the potential in her child, feel inspired by awe and wish for the grandest fruition of those gifts? If so, why do we look upon ourselves with diminished eyesight, only seeing the limitations of our day-to-day reality?

Not everyone is trapped in traffic with too many Cherry Nibs but similar distractions like comparing ourselves to others or toiling in countless activities just fill up our time and emotions until we become less connected to actual people, less fulfilled in what we do and less confident in our choices. Overstuffed but still empty.

When these mixed-up outlooks cage me in, my husband counsels me to “lower your expectations.” At first I think he means stop being a perfectionist and just be happy with who you are and what you have. And he does mean that to some extent. Yet, I don’t believe he means that I need to set aside my dreams. On the contrary, he encourages them.

I might use these words: Hold on to your wonder-filled expectations without worrying about the Wonder Woman expectations.

Most of us do not want to be the woman who evokes amazement or the one everyone admires nor do we seek fame or the superiority of a super hero, but we still want to give our best in our sphere of influence with the talents we’ve been given. A natural desire for affirmation sometimes sidetracks that goal.

Ultimately, knowing and growing in our potential comes from inspiration on the inside and not comparisons or pressure from the outside. Personally, when I look beyond the threads of my circumstance at the awe-inspiring patterns God has created, only then can I see the wonder in me.

This is an entry in the July Write-Away Contest at Scribbit.
Interested in entering? The topic is Wonder Woman and you have until July 16 to enter.

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Jun 26 2008

Counting Mom In For Kickball

by TJ

My Daily Question: Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us today?

Our summer shifted this year to incorporate fewer scheduled activities and more unstructured time. Is it working? YES. Surprisingly, each of us is finding the right balance of together time and individual pursuits, down time and goal-oriented projects. I’m going to write about what my children are doing over the next few days, but here’s one that blessed me today.

I sat on my front porch bench photographing the red columbine in bloom in my garden and the biking children on the neighborhood street. But then the game changed, and they invited me in to play kickball with them!

“No,” I said. “I’m just relaxing. I’ll watch.” I’d done my hard work and now I wanted to be the observer.

But then something in me said, “Yes. I’ll just change my shoes.”

I hadn’t played kickball since my fourth-grade days at Becky-David Elementary school where I was never the first one picked for the team. But my daughter chose me for hers. We played a hard game in our driveway, which has been designated as a premier kickball court with natural boundaries. I was glad for spontaneity and to be chosen. But after an hour or so, I happily turned my spot over to the neighbor boy who came just in time to replace me.

Afterwards, they invited me back. “You’re really good, Mom.”

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Jun 12 2008

The Source of All Good Things

by TJ

My Daily Question: Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us today?

When I ask this question of my children at the dinner table, sometimes they say, “I don’t have an answer.”

It is difficult to see how God has actually helped them in their life that day. They think of the good things that have happened, but when looking at the source of that good thing they may think, “Well that wasn’t a spiritual thing that happened, so it probably wasn’t Heavenly Father who helped in that.”

I, too, struggle to find blessings from God in just the temporal day-to-day living. However, an acquaintance at church taught me a lesson of gratitude.

This woman is a manager at the Pizza Hut where I took my daughters to dinner to redeem their Book It coupons. I actually didn’t want pizza, so I ordered the Boneless Buffalo Chicken Strips from the appetizer menu to be served with their dinner. When the server brought them, she acknowledged that the basket didn’t look as full as it should and that she requested another order that would be up soon. I appreciated her generosity and service and thanked her.

After finishing our dinner I paid at the cash register, spoke a bit to my friend from church who was working that night and I took the change back to our table for a tip. Happily, I encountered our server just passing the table at the same time. I looked directly at her and said, “Thank you.”

It wasn’t until my friend spoke at our church on Sunday about gratitude that I fully understood that the small blessing of a peaceful dinner came because a server quietly corrected a mistake. In her talk she said, “In the restaurant business, many do not say thank you anymore. They may say have a good day or something like that but do not express appreciation. When we thank other people we are thanking our Heavenly Father.”

Her phrase, “when we thank other people, we are thanking Heavenly Father” points to the source of all our blessings whether that connection is obvious or not. This experience reminded me that all good things come from God. Therefore, any answer to this daily question, by my children or myself, may include the seemingly routine efforts of others as blessings from God.

Filed in: The Question

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