TJ Hirst

Last summer I took a risk. I gave my children unstructured time to wean them from relying on a full schedule of activities. I wanted them to learn to use their time according to their own initiative. At first I feared they would be bored or they wouldn’t learn and develop without additional opportunities, but I proceeded anyway.  I waited, and I watched. A story unfolded in neighborhood play.

I wrote about the fort my kids created with others in the neighborhood. I thought I had written the end of a story, but it was really the start of a series. Later, the fort was destroyed. At the start of spring this year, my kids—a year older and wiser—began a new fort, in a protected location in our backyard. A conflict broke out with someone who hadn’t been invited to participate. We all learned lessons in peacemaking.

The instigator returned, humbled by the experience, and asked if he could join the fort. My kids came and asked my permission. I counseled them to make sure he understands the need to respect our property.  I encouraged them to talk to him about that. I didn’t define any rules. A week later, another dad in the neighborhood told us about these:

This may or may not be the end of the story, but I’m assured that my risk is paying off in experiences they will carry away from our Minnesota neighborhood someday.