TJ Hirst

Discovery filled my twenties. The process of looking for and trying new recipes, new decor and design, new parenting advice, new clothing trends and new beauty tips filled me with new ideas and eagerness. Toward the end of that decade, the new needed to fade so I could concentrate on following through on all I had introduced.

Doing filled the first phase of my thirties. Not reading parenting books with baby number three left me time to parent. We actually built our “dream home” from my design file and threw away any goals for perfection in the process. I quit clipping recipes and started creating my own with what I had on hand. As the end of this decade draws closer, I wonder about the next.

Will I return to discovery? I love learning and applying it, but I am too old to just follow a trend for a trend’s sake. I inch toward this new season, eager to not just regress and redo, but to discover at a deeper level, adding carefully to what I’ve chosen. And I stand in my well-equipped kitchen considering how to combine experience and enthusiasm into the mixture that will follow.

Ham Salad Puff
Taste of Home Cookbook

1 cup water
½ cup butter
1 cup all-purpose flour
¼ teaspoon salt
4 eggs
1-1½ cups fully cooked ham
2 celery ribs, chopped
½ cup chopped green pepper
½ cup sliced green onions
½ cup mayonnaise
1 teaspoon dill weed
lettuce leaves

1. In a large saucepan, bring water and butter to a boil. Add flour and salt all at once, stirring until a smooth ball forms. Remove from heat; let stand 5 minutes. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Continue beating until mixture is smooth and shiny.

2. Spread dough onto the bottom and up the sides of a greased 9-inch pie plate. Bake at 400° for 30-35 minutes or until puffed and golden brown. Prick the puff with a fork. Cool on a wire rack.

3. In a bowl, combine the ham, celery, green peppers, onions, mayonnaise, dill. Line puff with lettuce; fill with ham mixture. Yield: 4-6 servings.

In a fitting end to the school year, we sent our children off to the bus stop
only to have one daughter come running back and yelling,

“My flip flop fell down the drain. I was just walking and it fell.”

Flip

It just fell, right off her foot, through the storm drain grate and down eight feet.

Flop

After school, they fished it out.

Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us today?

At the Cub Scout Blue and Gold Banquet my son received his Webelos Badge and the Arrow of Light, the highest rank in Cub Scouting. Now he will be a Boy Scout. Scouting is unfamiliar territory for me. One year I helped with Cub Scout day camp, but for the most part, I did not volunteer much in his Cub Scouting years. That changed in the last few months when the time for advancement approached. We reviewed the requirements with our son and his Webelos leader. Then we made a plan for him to complete those requirements. At first, it seemed like a chore to complete, with all the other school-related activities.

At some point, I finally read the Webelos Scout Parent Guide in the Handbook. I guess they do make a parent’s guide for a reason. I wished I read it long ago. Before that, I had figured scouting was his thing and he needed to be fully responsible for it. When I knew the “what and how” of the program, though, I could encourage him toward specific progress. Then, I treasured the time together signing off his activity badge requirements. I learned the value of scouting and want him to continue.

I also discovered a secret parenting tool. The Scout Oath, Scout Law, Scout Motto and Scout Slogan package the important attributes we want him to develop in a fun way. Who doesn’t want more young men who are trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent?

Achieving the right level of support for my tween’s and teen’s activities does stretch my parenting skills. They need independence and personal responsibility. But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do my best to understand the scope of their activities to assess what is or isn’t getting done at home. Maybe that will be part of my “Good Turn Daily.”

“At what moment is a smile a smile?”

Minna Dyer asks this question as she contemplates “getting the perfect shot” in portrait photography. “I like to take a lot of shots—try to capture as much as I can—and then decide which one is the best. There are so many parts to a laugh, so many parts to a smile. Who is to say what part is the best?”

Two brothers she photographed were “on each other the whole time.” Capturing their physical play epitomized who they are.

Minna connects well with the children she photographs, even before the first shots, by playing with them and discovering what interests them. They become comfortable, and she gets ideas. Many of her ideas come because she sees the details in abstract things. “We are capable of seeing things more than we do.”

She remembers driving down a road, after she began her first photography class in college, and she could see it. Her perspective had changed and the details of life surrounded her. Seeing more comes by learning more. Minna is always learning whether it is by taking photography classes, learning from others’ work or evaluating her own photography.

Some of her favorite photographers and the blogs she reads regularly are Deb Schwedhelm, Jonathan Canlas, Pinkle Toes Photography, Marilia Destot, Amy Furstenau, Christina Domingues, Irene Suchocki, Karen Rusten and Rachele Valdez.

Her photography goals aren’t driven by money but a desire to learn as much as she can and get better. “I have learned how to think in a new way, have better ideas and open up my mind.”

She was a purist for a long time, using only film. She likes the look that film and photo paper give to a photograph. Black and whites, especially, have a classic look that is harder to achieve digitally. The work of Jon Canlas, a photographer who believes “film is not dead,” inspires her with the images he gets straight out of the camera.

Still, Minna made the investment and switched to digital when she started Miriam Lovell Photography and began selling photo cards. Her reasons—less expensive in the long run, easier, better photography, instant gratification, and an instant learning tool. “With film you don’t know what you’ll have until you get the film back.”

While she uses a digital SLR (see the side column of her photography blog for equipment particulars), she promises there is a lot you can do with a $150 point-and-shoot camera. In addition to learning technical things like the rule of thirds and experimenting with different points of view, “your idea makes up so much of your photograph.”

Sometimes all things come together for the perfect shoot. Her dream photo shoot was at a beach house with extended family. She laid a white comforter on the couch and shot pictures of a photogenic 9-month-old baby boy. He was in the mood. The light was great from a skylight in the ceiling. And, technically, she was “on.”

Certainly, more than chance brought these elements together. This talented photographer pictured it.

Focus on Details, Part II is the second in a series of posts from an interview on portraiture with Minna Dyer of Miriam Lovell Photography. View photo cards and her gallery of photographs at her website. Learn from her regular photo assignments on her photography blog.

Part III will be published on Wednesday, June 4, at TJ Hirst.com. Her images are copyrighted by Miriam Lovell Dyer of Miriam Lovell Photography. Images cannot be used without express written permission.

Try-It With-Me Tuesday, an interactive weekly time and place to foster connections that challenge and encourage the process to become a well-rounded person.

When I committed to the May Reading Challenge to read to or with someone, I wanted an unexpected opportunity to present itself. I waited. I trusted that such an opportunity would come and I would see it. I waited. I wondered. I made an alternate plan to pursue something else. But close to my deadline, it happened!

First, some background. Last year I read the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer. When my daughter turned 14, I encouraged her to expand her reading genres and try these. Yet, I knew they were a little more mature and wanted to talk about some of the scenes and themes with her.

After she finished Twilight in two days, she started New Moon. She admitted they were better than she expected. Although I wanted her to slow down and let us talk about them, she is quick and not a big talker. Me—I’m a BIG talker; yet, she was plowing through them and wasn’t pausing for communication.

Until . . .

Sickness sidelined her unexpectedly on a school day, and I saw the opportunity. I rearranged my plans for the day. We settled into the couches where I read a chapter of New Moon to her. While she was a bit frustrated by the slower pace of listening, it did open her up to discuss the series. We engaged in some interesting conversation. And that was my goal!

Even as she returned to her book alone, I picked up my book, Watership Down, and we read for a couple of hours on the couch together. Interestingly, that opportunity opened my thinking about a plan to extend this challenge throughout the summer.

I thought my days of reading aloud with my children were over. They are becoming increasingly more independent and mature. But this summer may just be our window of opportunity to try one more read-aloud book together. And after finishing Watership Down, that might just be the right one. Or do you have some suggestions for a read-aloud with ages ranging from 9-14?

Did you read to or with someone this month? What benefits do you see from reading together? Tell me about it in the comments below or send me a link to your own post about it.

Join in by trying the challenges with me, commenting, linking, or suggesting a challenge. If you want to write a post on your blog about what happened when you took the challenge, I will publish your link. Just link to my website in your post and send me your link. Feel free to use the TIWMT image in your post.