Archive for February, 2008

Feb 29 2008

Your Opinion on Forgotten Manners

by TJ

Our church youth group held an etiquette dinner at our home this week for 19 teenagers. They were served a nice meal (on “real” plates and multiple utensils!) of pumpkin soup, salad, focaccia dipped in olive oil and balsamic vinegar, stuffed pork chops with apples and cranberries, and sherbet for dessert. The host taught proper table manners that they could practice during the courses.

While teaching young children manners through books or clubs is valuable, the time of being a teenager is a time to teach through practice. If you haven’t read the Rules of Civility that George Washington wrote as a teenager, they are worth a look.

Overall, most enjoyed the dining experience but probably for very different reasons. One teen’s comment of feedback was “I would rather not eat with etiquette.”

Aside from the opinion on whether or not we like to use manners or proper etiquette, “manners ease the stress of communal living, and mannerly behavior recognizes the right of others to share communal space.”

Will you tell me what you think? Please leave a comment about your experiences with good or bad manners and answer the poll about which manners we may be losing through the generations.

Which manners are the most neglected?

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Filed in: Polls

2 responses so far

Feb 28 2008

Confessing a Blessing

by TJ

“Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us today?”

I told my husband, Paul, about a televised speech I watched listing the five needs of a man and the five needs of a woman. The needs were not the same. Ironically, “the need to talk about the relationship” was second on the women’s need list.

In the midst of our own conversation about “needs” he said, “Your website is something we do together.”

I confess that he’s right. He is my technical other half behind my visible writing presence here.

(Four months ago I didn’t even know what a blogroll was, let alone why I might need plugins.)

After I agreed with him, I asked him to explain.

He said, “It is something I can do for you beyond the usual busyness.”

Something he can do for me!

Despite all the countless responsibilities he has, he regularly makes it possible for me to express myself, not only with technical help, but with ideas and encouragement.

His comment reminded me of something Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley, the past president of our church who recently passed way, said about his wife:

I’ve tried to recognize my wife’s individuality, her personality, her desires, her background, her ambitions. Let her fly. Yes, let her fly! Let her develop her own talents. Let her do things her way. Get out of her way, and marvel at what she does.

“At Home with the Hinckleys,” Ensign, Oct 2003

Thus, I am confessing, especially on this site, that I am who I am because I have this kind of support from my husband. In fact, this website is symbolic of our tied-together relationship.

Frequently, Paul prays in our family with gratitude for the things that I do at home. Now, I will pray with gratitude for all the unknown and unseen things he does for me.

My needs are met.

Filed in: The Question

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Feb 27 2008

Support from the Sky: A Veteran’s Story (Part 5)

by TJ

Part 5 in a series
previous entries

In March 1971 David Jensen was assigned to a special mission called LAMSON 719, which was an incursion of South Vietnamese troops into Laos. He and other pilots operated off a runway at Quang Tri Army Base in Vietnam which was just south of the DMZ—the Demilitarized Zone, the no man’s land between North Vietnam and South Vietnam. “We flew off a runway made out of PSP, metal planking laid down in the sand, for 30 days in support of the South Vietnamese Rangers that were going into Laos,” David said.

Flying an OV-10 over the strike area

US Army helicopters were flying in support, as well. Both the airplanes and the helicopters flew a lot lower because there wasn’t as much antiaircraft fire; it was more small arms fire. The helicopters flew really low. One time David was talking to a Loch pilot and told him about a cave. The helicopter pilot went over to check it out and hovered just above it.

He said, “I can count some ponchos in there.”

David said, “Ponchos? You can see ponchos?” That was close!

David often flew with an Vietnamese Air Force officer in the back seat as a translator to interpret the radio contact from the people on the ground. “The South Vietnamese were always calling in air support,” David said. “Rather than fighting, they would rather have airplanes do the fighting for them.”

He describes one time the Vietnamese Rangers were being overrun by the enemy:

They had a secured area fire base, a place where they have artillery and put wire around it. They were being attacked on all sides. I was flying overhead, and I didn’t have any ordinance. But I had my own machine gun. So I started strafing the wire, right up close to where the enemy was with my machine guns. But I was a pretty small plane and didn’t do much good.

And I said, “I’ve got some Pave Ways. I can put them right down on top of you, but they’re really big bombs.”

The guy said, “They’re getting too close, we really need some help.”

So I laid down a 2000 lb bomb right close to the fence.

The guy came back on the radio and said, “No, no more of those, we are feeling the concussion.”

So we got some others in, and we tried to use Napalm, which is really accurate.

The pilots routinely received intense top secret briefings. The briefings covered rules of engagement including what they could strike and where they could strike. They would learn what villages were friendly; sometimes just one hut was a friendly village. The briefings also made David alert to the dangers that existed, that this was not a game, especially if they were shot down and caught.

“We carried a blood chit, it was small American flag in plastic. Written on it in a number of foreign languages was I am an American flier and my country will pay so much in gold for my safe return,” he said.

He also carried other things just in case: a pencil he never sharpened that had a file underneath the eraser; a tiny compass that if he was caught he was supposed to swallow and extract later to use; two radios; a pistol and ammunition; and water.

“I was in such a hot area, extremely hot with North Vietnamese regulars on the ground; they just don’t have any respect for life,” David said. “I heard stories about it in our briefings—don’t get caught because they aren’t going to treat you very well. And they didn’t, depending on who caught you.”

David was in the air when an F4 pilot got shot down right where the enemy was.

They were so close, he was whispering in the radio. He had his earpiece in his ear and he was whispering so they couldn’t hear him talk. A couple of times he said, “I can’t talk right now.”

They were within 10 feet of him, walking around trying to find him.

I told him, “I don’t have anything that can get close to you right now.” It was getting close to dark. “I’ve got you spotted, but I can’t get any rescuers.”

He said, “Bring the gas.” He said it in code word so I knew what it was. They have a certain kind of gas you can lay down that incapacitates everyone on the ground, including the pilot. Then they have to go in and pick him up and haul him up in the helicopter.

But I said, “Nah, I don’t have any ordinance.” You can’t send rescue in without clearing the area, too many enemy on the ground. We didn’t have any ordinance to clear out around him. I was talking to the command post and we didn’t have any ordinance, any aircraft that could help out.

I told him to find a place to hide and we would come back in the morning.

He said, “They’ll get me by then.”

I said, “No. We’ll come back and get you.”

The next morning, we did get him out. I didn’t get to go in, another guy did it. I wished I could have been there to say, “I’m back; I told you I’d be back.”

While David was never shot down himself, he came close one time. But it wasn’t from Vietnamese fire—it was a B52 carpet bombing.

Before a carpet bombing, the pilots would receive word that there was going to be an “arc light”, the code name for a B52 carpet bombing. Then the B52s would fly at 40,000 feet and drop 500 lb bombs almost continuously in one target area.

Sometimes, however, these strikes were diverted. Those diversions would be announced on the guard frequency, an emergency frequency.

David was using the radio all the time. He would talk to the ground on an FM radio. He would be talking to the fighters on UHF. He would leave the guard frequency on, too. Sometimes the guard frequency would come on in the midst of all this noise, but it would be broadcasting 100 miles away so he would turn it off.

One time that he turned off the emergency frequency, there was an arc light strike that came right over the top of him. He was flying at a pretty low altitude, and the aircraft started rolling back and forth.

And I said, “What on earth is this?” It felt like a lot of turbulence, but what it was was the concussions of the bombs coming towards me. I looked in back of me, and I saw on the ground this stream of explosions coming towards me. And I could imagine overhead there’s these 500 lbs bombs flying, and they were coming right toward my tail.

In an instant I went to full power and dove to the left, which drove me out of the way. I couldn’t go straight ahead. I couldn’t outrun the B52’s going 500 or 600 mph. So I just dove to the left. I got out the way and rolled back and those bombs went boom, boom, boom, boom, right over where I’d been.

Through such circumstances, he not only learned how to avoid mistakes in the future, but he also learned how to react well under pressure. As a result, he received highly positive reports of his work.

In one incident at the end of the mission, David discovered and marked a convoy of trucks, for which he later received the Distinguished Flying Cross. The Distinguished Flying Cross David was flying early one morning by himself after the ground troops had pulled out. He came upon a convey of trucks that were stopped under the cover of the trees.

There was a huge amount of them, probably 30 trucks, heavily loaded and laden with supplies. You usually don’t see that, maybe one or two trucks; this was a whole fleet of them. So I just got really excited, and I called the command post and said, “I’ve got multiple targets down here. I’ll take anything you have.”

They told him what they had, and he said he was going to need more.

Send me all you can get. I just rolled in and marked them, marked the front and the back, and we laid down a string of bombs. It was unbelievable! It was like 4th of July in St. Louis. Explosions were going off for two days afterwards.

When things had quieted down, he went back and saw “all the burned out hulks of trucks” and relaized the full scope of what they had accomplished.

In addition to receiving the Distinguished Flying Cross, he received the Vietnamese Cross of Gallantry, which is a Vietnamese awarded medal, for the LAMSON 719 operation. He returned to Nakhon Phanom (NKP) Thailand after the completion of that special mission.

One response so far

Feb 26 2008

Try-It-With-Me Tuesday

by TJ

I am introducing an interactive weekly post called Try-It With-Me Tuesday as a way to encourage the process to become a well-rounded person.

I have learned that I need to give myself continual challenges to improve. About five years ago some back problems prompted me to overcome my fear of water and learn to swim (a long post for another day). That learning process was a difficult balance of faith and persistence. After I achieved and maintained this goal for some time, I could sense that my body and spirit needed a new fitness routine to increase my levels of strength and endurance adjusting. My change: an intensive group cycle class at the YMCA.

I have discovered something that is more important than my own efforts in going to the next level in any area of my life—the connections with people who motivate my growth process. Since starting this website, I have found an array of other people who, through their sites, bring inspiration and challenges of their own. The Internet can be a good medium for fostering connections that challenge and encourage us.

On Tuesdays I will share a challenge that I will be taking for an upcoming time period. And that is where this becomes INTERACTIVE. I want you to Try It With Me.

I will post a variety of challenges from different areas including intellectual, social, physical, spiritual and creative, and they will involve reading, writing and/or practicing. I welcome suggestions of challenges to try and will consider linking to your personal challenges you have posted on your own site; just contact me.

Some challenges will be for a week, others will be for a month or longer. Some Tuesdays may not have a new challenge. You and I can share our progress on Tuesday, too, and in the process help each other. I will create an organized way to share as this grows, but for the meantime, just leave comments on Tuesday posts with your feedback and progress. Or if you would rather, write about your progress on your own site and email me a link to include on a Tuesday post.

Are you ready to Try It With Me?

Here’s an easy first one to get us started:

Smile more often this week.

This challenge comes from a child’s smile that inspired me toward better health and my old copy of How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. He said,

An insincere grin? No,that doesn’t fool anybody. We know it is mechanical and we resent it. I am talking about a real smile, a heartwarming smile, a smile that comes from within.

Leave a comment on this post or next Tuesday and tell me what your smile brings!

One response so far

Feb 25 2008

A Contagious Smile

by TJ

I am suffering from a chronic condition, sinusitis. The pressure in my head for more than two months has been intense. I just finished my third round of antibiotics. Both the sickness and the cure are wearing me out with fatigue. The effect on my mood has been obvious.

Yesterday we visited a young girl, a friend of my eight-year-old daughter, who is also suffering. She has kidney stones, rare for someone so young, and has undergone surgery and anticipates another one. The effect on her mood was indistinguishable from the normal happy child she is.Smiling the snow

Her expressions in the midst of her pain and discomfort were the opposite of what I would anticipate. She grinned the whole time we visited. Not only that, her smile was contagious.

We were all grinning with her—seeing the upbeat prospects for her recovery and feeling relief that we have modern technology to help her.

Our visit left me with a desire to smile more often.

Check out my challenge tomorrow with my first “Try-It-With-Me Tuesday.”

Filed in: Ponderings

One response so far

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