TJ Hirst

I left a friend’s home renewed by our conversation, the sunshine, the crisp temperature and the stunning leaves in her neighborhood. She lives near my daughter’s school with streets partitioned into blocks, homes closer to the curb, and sidewalks lined with 50-year-old maples and oaks. I said, “I’m going to stop and take a picture at every beautiful tree or leaf that I see.”

I stopped at the first tree, a brilliant orange fire. But it was in someone’s yard, behind a fence, and I didn’t want to seem nosy. I stopped at the second tree, a muted red with green tucked underneath, waiting for its turn. I got out to take a picture, but I didn’t move into the best position because I would be standing in the middle of the street and cars were coming. I stopped at  the third tree with the full flame of red, dropping its leaves beneath it. I was at the stop sign, so I just opened my passenger side window to get the shot.

Most of the beautiful pictures stayed in my mind and never made it into my camera. I felt conspicuous and hesitated to take the pictures in public.

Close to home, I turned down a quiet road with few houses. Along that lane where I often walk in the morning, I felt the freedom to capture what I saw. I parked at an angle and waded into the knee-high grass, in a skirt of all things, and enjoyed the colors through my camera.

Behind me, the gravel stirred across the street. I expected to turn and find some beautiful wildlife beside me. No, an older woman walked toward her mailbox and didn’t take her eyes off me until I moved back toward my car. I dumbly repeated my line, “I was just on my way home and I was going to stop at every pretty tree or leaf and take a picture.”

Her expression, which was more than curious, made me feel like I’d been caught, and she said, “And where do you live?”

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Filed in Polls

The Question: Have I Seen the Hand of God Reaching Out to Touch Us Today?

All day I talk and talk and write and talk and, I hope, listen. These expressions spring out of my desire to comprehend the richness of it all. When I learn something new I want to share and see how others saw the same thing.

Everyday we exchange information, but I seek more. I want to exchange thoughts, stories, words, ideas, looks, actions. I want communication that connects.

Misunderstandings seem more common. Some days I wonder if we haven’t become like the people who were building the tower of Babel, “confounded, that they may not understand one another’s speech.”

My speech is confused in the ears of others so frequently, so personally, so deeply, so profoundly that I pray fervently that I will be understood.

When my answer comes, though, I learn there is something more important than being understood—that is to understand.

Filed in The Question

Four-Star forum at Air Force Association Convention in Sept. 2008 where field commanders and Chief of Staff respond to questions from the audience. Photo courtesy of the Air Force.

Despite the high-profile responsibilities of General Bruce Carlson, his wife Vicki Carlson says, “We live our lifestyle as if he is a nobody.” Both are down-to-earth people who are humble about the opportunities Bruce has had throughout his career and his current responsibilities as Commander of the Air Force Materiel Command at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base in Ohio. AFMC buys, sells and maintains all equipment for the Air Force or as the official Air Force website reads,

AFMC conducts research, development, test and evaluation, and provides acquisition management services and logistics support necessary to keep Air Force weapon systems ready for war.

General Carlson’s current command and the previous command of the 8th Air Force at Barksdale Air Force Base in Louisiana (2002-2005) have been “interesting and challenging” positions for her husband, Vicki says. But, she adds, “Just like any other career, you just progress in your job and more things are given to you.”

Over these years as his duties have increased, Vicki’s official participation as a “four-star spouse” has also increased, and it is a position with which she is not always entirely comfortable. Still, she presents herself well in social settings and with people. She says, she is “working hard to be extroverted.”

Military life encompasses a variety of social occasions including traditional formal military balls to informal Friday night gatherings. At Barksdale, the 8th Air Force held a military ball which included a parade of troops in uniform, and the entire community was invited to this very formal affair. At Wright-Patterson Air Force Base, the AFMC hosts the International Ball, and invites the foreign men and women who have come with their families to Dayton, Ohio, to come in their country’s attire.

Expectations also exist for informal social gatherings in military life. Vicki says,

At one point Bruce was told if he didn’t go to the bar and drink at the bar, he wouldn’t go anywhere. We didn’t do that. Bruce didn’t do that.

Some commanders require social participation. They see that as being team players. We have done enough of it to survive, but we never were party animals. We did what we had to do, but we never did any more than that. Our Air Force family was important to us in that we would have good friends we would go and do things with but it was never every Friday night. When we did go, we were not the long stayers.

Social connections and relationships do aid the work, such as when four-star spouses are invited to participate with their husbands at CORONA, a few days of meetings “when four stars do business at the four-star level.” There, she and other spouses receive briefings on people issues and housing issues and updates on air lifts to bring home the wounded, but they also buoy each other up over common concerns.

In 2007, Vicki and other four-star spouses were invited to the amputee clinic at Walter Reed Army Medical Center. In the Summer of 2007, she toured San Antonino Military Medical Center (Brooke Army Medical Center) to visit burn victims. In both places, she witnessed the realities of the recovery for the wounded.

Never had we visited with so many young kids there. I asked a nurse, ‘What have you seen that has changed in the last few years of this war?’

She said, “There are far more of our wounded that have more limbs gone because the enemy has perfected bigger and more severe bombs to do more damage.

The wounds she saw were horrific, but when she spoke with some of the wounded, who were relearning simple tasks like buttoning a button or zipping a zipper, their determination to heal overwhelmed her.

I am in awe of these valiant, strong, amazing  young men and women who serve for our freedom.

I look at it in two ways: I look at it as if this individual is my child and how hard that would be with the longevity of those handicaps. Many of these victims are twenty-something. Think about that. How do you face the rest of your life?

Walking in and seeing these young men and women, it makes me absolutely in awe of the selfless service that our military members are willing to give. You can find people who are for or against the war.  But these young men and women have a willingness to do their job in the face of the fact that they could be wounded.

Many have a determination to get their bodies back so they can continue to serve their county, and that brings tears to my eyes. These young men love what they are doing more than anything else.

We, in the Air Force, are realizing we have to take care of these wounded and their families long term. And the Air Force has come up with a lot of programs to help.

Vicki’s position as the wife of a four-star general gives her a unique perspective with visits such as those, and occasionally in visits to other countries. She only travels with her husband when her presence is needed in an official duty. The Air Force Materiel Command buys and sells parts and airplanes throughout the world, and recently she accompanied her husband on a trip to South America when he visited airplane manufacturing facilities there.

I think traveling around with Bruce has helped me see the influence that Bruce has—because of his position, not necessarily because of himself—on decision making and cause and effect in the Air Force. That broadened my understanding of the intelligence and abilities and capabilities that he has.

From that vantage point by his side, she sees his leadership in action and appreciates what he has given in service to the country.

General Carlson at the airport as he departs Bogotá Columbia in 2008. This is the group of young men who escorted him everywhere during their two-day visit to Columbia.

A Four Star-Family, Part III is the third in a series of posts from an interview with Vicki Carlson. Read Part I here. Read Part II here. TJ will share the conclusion of the Carlson’s story next Wednesday, October 15, at tjhirst.com.

Filed in Everyday Biography

Try-It With-Me Tuesday, an interactive weekly time and place to foster connections that challenge and encourage the process to become a well-rounded person.

“Mom, do you know why Sam in My Side of the Mountain might be like Thoreau?” My fourth-grader questioned me. “If I find out, I can get extra credit.”

“You just learned about Thoreau,” I said. “Remember that talk we heard about Walden Pond? That was about Thoreau.”

She was skeptical. “I don’t think it was the same Thoreau.”

I assured her it was and that we even had his book, Walden, on our bookshelf. “Go get it and get your book, too, so I can see the reference.”

Not many fourth graders would understand that allusion without an explanation, but she got a jump start this week when we heard a leader in our church speak about Thoreau’s experience to separate himself for two years to live a simple life. When she came back, I quizzed her on the four things that he discovered he needed—food, clothing, shelter and fuel. By thinking about those answers, she could see the comparison between Sam and Thoreau.

Since this seems an appropriate time in our society and in my life to consider how Thoreau’s experiences might apply, I’m introducing Walden by Henry David Thoreau as my first selection for the Try-It-With-Me-Tuesday Book Club. By the way, thanks to Holly at Marathon Bird for starting me with Bodacious Bloggity Book Club.

Want to Try It With Me?

First - Find a copy of the book. Thanks to Rachel, who suggested Project Gutenberg would be a great source for books. You can download Walden for free from Project Gutenberg. Or download and listen to the audio book version. Your public library, a friend’s bookshelf or retailers are also a good source if you like to have the book in hand. But hurry . . .

Second - Read it in the next three short weeks, before Tuesday, October 28. Jot down your thoughts and impressions in a journal or on sticky notes on the pages to mark your insights.

Third - Share your impressions in an online discussion here on Tuesday, October, 28. Write a post on your website if you have one. Or just come back and share your thoughts in the comments.

If you do write a post, I want to publish your link so we can visit your website and see what you have to say. Please email your  permalink to tj (at) tjhirst (dot) com no later than Monday, October 27 at 12 a.m. (Central Time). If you don’t make that deadline, just leave the link in your comments on the Tuesday post.

I’m inviting anyone to participate for what I hope will be far from a stuffy discussion to discover what simplicity meant to Thoreau and what it means to us today.

Join in by trying the challenges with me, commenting, linking, or suggesting a challenge. If you want to write a post on your blog about what happened when you took the challenge, I will publish your link. Just link to my website in your post and send me your link. Feel free to use the TIWMT image in your post.

Filed in Try-It-With-Me Tuesday

The places, events and people of my life emerge from my subconscious as the settings, plots and characters of my dreams.  In my sleep I pluck from a lifetime of who, what and where like I am trick-or-treating at doors across the world. Then, my mixed assortment of real people, places and scenarios appear in eerie fictional stories, out of time and situational context, as the ghosts of my sleepy-time entertainment.

The ghosts of houses past loom as stages for the dramas behind my closed eyes, with the childhood home of my elementary school years as the most frequent backdrop.

In the latest, I peered out that familiar living room window on Fisher Lane to see a bridge explode and fling debris through our ceiling. (Never mind that that particular bridge crosses the Missouri River 20 miles in the other direction). Fortunately, the home of my teenage years with a centuries-old cemetery—or graveyard as we called it—in the back yard has slipped from my nightmare writer’s notice.

The ghosts of decisions past add anxiety to my sleep when I discover that I am reliving old deliberations with new twists and outcomes. As a notorious second guesser, whether I am awake or asleep, I am more suited to the role of third party observer of a friend or family member who is weighing his or her options.  That is why I particularly enjoyed a recent dream when my friend invited me along on her house hunt, where we easily chose a cleverly-updated ranch with new tile and a curved bar in the kitchen. In reality, she moved over six months ago.

The ghosts of people past reacquaint themselves with me in the oddest places and times in my dreams.  I’ve had fictitious mass reunions with people I have known in a food court of a shopping mall and while waiting in line for a restroom. Our conversations create comic relief during a night of fitful sleep.

The closely related ghosts of relationships past are far more frightening than funny. I get a little panicky in the morning when I remember my dream included someone from my life five, ten or twenty years ago. Why is my subconscious pulling HIM into my dreams at this time? Is is a crush I never outgrew? Does it mean something more?

If you’ve ever read Dicken’s Christmas Carol, it is hard not to wonder why each ghost appears. Most nights, though, my candy stash of characters and scenes doesn’t add any more meaning to my life than a handful of Milk Duds. But think of the possibilities I can pull out of my bag during the day when I write.

Author’s Note: Since I am not a huge Halloween fan, the theme of “Ghosts” for Scribbit’s October Write Away Contest nearly scared me away, but it was fun to dress up my writer self in a little different costume for this entry.

Filed in Everyday Lite