TJ Hirst

Photo courtesy of Mark Persons of Gilbert Lodge Blog

independent: adj 1. Not governed by a foreign power; self-governing. 2. Free from the influence, guidance, or control of another or others; self-reliant. 3. Not determined or influenced by someone or something else; not contingent 4. Not relying on others for support, care, or funds, self-supporting.

To see how we celebrate on the Fourth of July—barbecues, parades and fireworks—it’s easy to forget we’re celebrating Independence Day.  While these outward expressions reminds us of the freedoms we now enjoy, the excess in food and fanfare often overshadow the sacrifices that brought them about.

I enjoy these community and family celebrations, but this year my personal remembrance is an inward expression of gratitude for the lessons of independence I’ve learned.

Since last year’s festivities the retracting economy has hit most people in the Untied States in one way or another. We’ve personally experienced the economic hardships of the past year and seen its effect on others. In each case, I sense that the more difficult adjustment is not just the loss of material things that money can buy but the fear that we will lose our independence.

We saw this in the movie we watched this week, Cinderella Man.  The boxer James Braddock is forced to leave boxing with a broken hand during the Great Depression. He and his wife struggle in poverty to keep their family intact. Later, he’s given an opportunity to make a comeback in boxing.  In a press conference he expresses his change of perspective. “This time,” he said, “I’m fighting for milk.”

While we’ve done without many material things this year, that movie and the John Adams HBO series we’re also watching remind me that our physical sacrifices seem insignificant to what previous generations gave.

The fear of losing our economic independence as individuals and as a country is frightening; yet, when we sacrifice what we thought we needed materially we also choose to reacquaint ourselves with what we’re truly fighting for.

Filed in Pondering

A new booster seat law takes effect in Minnesota today. I’ve read information in our local newspaper, the Brainerd Dispatch, over the last few months and understood this law to apply to children who are between the ages of 4 and 8 and who are also shorter than 4-feet-9-inches tall.

Under that understanding, the new law would not require us to put our 10-year-old daughter in a booster seat, even though she is under 4 feet-9-inches tall.

Then, yesterday—the day before the law takes effect—I read this state brief from the Associated Press in our paper:

Beginning Wednesday, children under 8 years old or under 4-feet-9-inches tall will have to travel in booster seats.

From the language in this reading, it appears that the law would apply to any child under 8 years old or any child under 4-feet-9-inches tall.

My first thought was that the number of ways this law has been announced and reported has created confusion for parents. But then my second thoughts went straight to my own situation.

Am I now going to be required by law to buy and use a booster seat for my children who haven’t been in car seats since they were four? In my opinion that would be absurd especially since I, myself, am 4-feet-11-inches tall.

Did anyone else have this same confusion with this new law?

While my writing at this website is not directly for informational purposes, I thought other parents might be interested in the answers I found with a lot for searching for clarification.

At the Minnesota Office of Traffic Safety website in their Child Passenger Safety page they define the new law and answer frequently asked questions. I’m including their words directly with boldface added:

New Booster Seat Law Effective July 1, 2009
Minnesota’s new child passenger safety law requires a child who is both under age 8 and shorter than 4 feet 9 inches to be fastened in a child safety seat or booster. Under this law, a child cannot use a seat belt alone until they are age 8 or 4 feet 9 inches tall — whichever comes first. It is recommended to keep a child in a booster based on their height, rather than their age.

Booster Seat Frequently Asked Questions

Q. What’s the law regarding booster seats?

A: Under MN Statute 169.685, subdivision 5; any child who is both under the age of 8 and under 4 feet 9 inches tall must be fastened in a child safety seat or booster seat.

Q. What are booster seats and how are they used?

A: Booster seats lift a child up allowing the lap belt to fit low and snug across the hips and the shoulder belt to fit snug across the middle of the chest to provide the necessary protection in a crash.

Q. What are the consequences of not using a booster?

A: The fine is $50 however, with local fees and surcharges the fees could total

$100–$130. More importantly, a child that should be in a booster that is seated in a seat belt alone can suffer death or serious injury in the event of a crash. Injuries associated with poor seat belt fit include ejection, internal decapitation and serious abdominal damage.

Q. Who should use booster seats?

A: Any child who is over the age of 4 and over 40 pounds who has outgrown a forward facing safety seat. A child should use a booster until they are 4 feet 9 inches tall.

Q. Should I use a high back or low back booster?

A: Boosters without a back may only be used in vehicles with a head rest. High back boosters are effective as they offer a slot for you to thread the seat belt to properly position the seat belt across the child’s chest.

Q. What if my child is 9 years old, but only 4 feet 6 inches tall (or shorter)? Under the law he/she would be able to be seated with just a seat belt.

A: By Minnesota state law, they would not be required to be in a booster seat, however, the best safety practice would be to keep them in a booster until they reach 4 feet 9 inches tall.

Filed in Pondering

to pump your legs

to feel the balance between how much gas to give the car to get up the hill

or to know how soon to apply the brake before a right-hand turn

to ask questions when the sales clerk rings up a pair of clearance pants at the regular price

to communicate information so that everyone it will impact has the right expectation

to remember to turn on the dishwasher after you fill it up

or to know when there are too few dishes to wash that night

to call back a future employer just enough to seem eager but not enough to annoy

to cry over a social faux pas or to see the bigger picture

AND. . .

to stand beside someone while she swings into flight

Filed in Nurturing

A walk with my budding artist brought out the inventive creation of her dream career—arteology. She says it’s like archeology, but not only do you unearth history, you draw or paint what you find.

On our trail through nature we found an abundance of trees, wildflowers and this old foundation from the Brainerd Brewing Company. The building was torn down in 1924 and volunteers from the local history club excavated a portion of the slab this spring. (See Brainerd Dispatch for the story. Registration necessary).

“History plus art just seems to go together,” I told her as we moved on along the path. “You want to tell the story with visual images.”

As we continued, her eyes uncovered the obvious details of light and color but, she wondered aloud how to capture sound and movement. Then the heat and the bugs and the smells of rot quickened our pace, until we came upon a shaded bench in front of the Mississippi River where we could watch a monarch butterfly flit around the weeds.

She wished for her sketch book. We had to settle for the camera. Eventually, she tired of just sitting and said, “Not to dismiss all this loveliness, but I’m dying of thirst.”

Filed in Creativity

Do you want to open your gate for a relationship that gives more than it takes? For everyone involved?

Talk about gardening beyond the backyard. Talk about what you’re growing with the neighbors on a pause in your walk around the block. Ask your mother what she’s growing when the generation gap seems to pull you apart. All of these ways have invited the wise gardeners of my community to share two of the richest gifts of their gardens—advice and plants.

Now, my intention has never been to seek a friendship for what I want to receive, but gardeners are natural givers.

My mom created a garden when her nest of seven children emptied. The park-like path dripped with sedum and creeping phlox up to a row of roses. The black-eyed susans and shasta daises brightened the stone wall. The water lilies bloomed in the small fish pond and beckoned every little toddler grandchild that visited. She researched and planned. My dad dug and reshaped. They planted together. And they shared the results.

In this garden of overflowing plants I received my first garden share—seven hosta they had divided and hid behind a tree. They offered, and I dug them up and planted my first garden. When I sold that house and moved away, I missed their garden of giving. So the next time I visited, I brought back a bucket of their black-eyed susans. They didn’t transfer well to my soil and my climate and died.

I opened my mouth about my misshapen and weedy second garden, and found two women to treasure, sisters who’ve become like my gardening grandmas. From them I’ve added cannas, phlox and roses to my garden alongside wisdom, knowledge and friendship.

Now, I’m in my third garden. And I’ve seen it grow with even more garden share additions.The newest ones I added this month have become my favorites—blue delphinium alongside yellow columbine.

I also spent a day with one of my gardening grandma’s, thinning out her Lilly of the Valley for my own benefit. I wanted to use them under our deck in a shady place where the grass won’t grow.

She shared the abundant growth of her garden to fill in my empty spaces and could only remember what I’d shared with her—weeding out the over-grown plants that crowded her hosta. She painted me this water-color picture of her grateful hosta.

The reciprocal sharing blessed us both. The older generation sharing growth and abundance. The younger sharing vitality and strength. A need for a need.

There’s a life lesson in what my neighbors said when I compared the delphinium I bought at a home center two years ago with the one they gave us last year, “The plants you get from friends will flourish better than the ones you get in a nursery.”

Can you see it?

Filed in Nurturing